Dirty Hungarian phrasebook is a Monty Python sketch that first aired in 1970. The sketch starts by saying that Hungarian nationals have moved into London. John Cleese plays a Hungarian who enters a tobacconist's shop. He says to the tobacconist (Terry Jones), reading from the phrasebook he is holding, "I will not buy this record; it is scratched." When Jones corrects him he says, "Ah, I will not buy this tobacconist, it is scratched." Cleese then proceeds to read more bizarre phrases from the phrasebook, including "My hovercraft is full of eels" (may I have some matches?) and "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"